Lana's Karma Bites Her In The Butt
by butterflybrain
Summary: Don't like Lana? Here's a story for you...


Lana's Karma Bites Her In The Butt

Notes- If you like Lana Lang and all that she represents (though why you would is beyond me) then it is advisable you do not read this story. Also, the acid is not green because of anything to do with Kryptonite, it just seemed like a good acid colour.

Disclaimer- I wish I owned Clark Kent but sadly I don't (boo hoo). All of this belongs to powers higher up in the food chain than me, with the exceptions of the storyline, Bob, and the Acid Factory (my preciousssss, oops- wrong fic!).

Feedback- Please, please, please send me feedback. This is my first fic, so be kind! Constructive criticism is appreciated (how else will I learn?), but if you just want to be mean then please don't bother. Also, if you like Lana and are offended by my story, then don't bother sending me nasty reviews as I warned you not to read if you like Lana.

Lana Lang was on a school trip to the Acid Factory with her Science Group- except Clark and Chloe. No-one knew where they were, not even Pete. Lana was pissed off about this. She enjoyed flirting with Clark to see the look on Chloe's face. She also enjoyed leading Clark on, then giving him the 'let's just be friends' spiel, to see the kicked puppy look on his face.

God, she was bored! She could mess with Pete's mind, she mused, but it wasn't nearly as much fun as messing with Clark and Chloe. Still… she could ask him where Clark and Chloe were, then mess with him for a bit. It might help relieve some of the boredom.

"Hey Pete!" she said brightly, catching up with him. She remembered to put on her soft voice - "Have you seen Clark and Chloe today?"

"No," replied Pete, "I was hoping you had."

Lana faked a concerned expression - she was pretty convincing now.

"Gee, I hope Clark's not sick - maybe I should go over later. As for Chloe, she seemed fine when I left. Maybe she went to Clark's."

Pete mulled this over. "Yeah, you're probably right. Bet they're eating corn chips and playing Cluedo right now!"

Lana giggled. She hated giggling, but sometimes it was necessary to cover her real feelings, which right now was murderous rage.

_Spoil my fun will they? They are _so _dead_, she thought.

"Hey Lana, you okay?" Pete's voice interrupted her daydream of ripping Chloe's head off and shooting it through a hoop of Clark's lower intestines.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just a bit worried. I would've thought Chloe would tell me if she was going somewhere.," she recovered.

"Oh. Well maybe she didn't have time," reasoned Pete.

"I guess," said Lana. He is so annoying, she thought. Always looking for a reasonable explanation - yuk!

The guy leading the tour - his nametag read "Bob Dole" - had stopped walking and was now droning on about how useful acid is. The students were chattering with enthusiasm, well, okay, boredom, but why rain on his parade?

The group were standing on a platform above a huge tank of bubbling, hissing, lime green acid. It looked just like in the cartoons. It also didn't look very safe. Bob had finished his boring speech, made all the more boring by his monotonous voice.

"So, if you'll follow me, we can see the acid being put into specially reinforced bottles," he said flatly.

Joy of joys, thought Lana.

"Hey, you coming?" asked Pete.

_Not right now, _she thought. _Maybe Lex can help me out later…_

"Not right now," she said to Pete, "I'll be along in a minute."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." _God, just get lost already!_

"Okay."

Lana was left alone with her thoughts, which were mostly about seducing Lex, and killing Clark, Pete and Chloe… and all of the other do-gooders in town, of which there were quite a few.

She was sitting on the platform, feet dangling under the rail, about ten feet away from the acid.

She started swinging her feet, back and forth, back and forth. Her shoe, the strawberry pink one with the hot pink glitter laces, started working itself loose. Lana didn't notice. Until it came right off.

She made a grab for it. And slipped right under the rail.

She flung her hand out and just managed to grab the edge of the platform.

"Eeeeek!" she screamed. "Help!" She could feel her grip loosening- "Heellp!"

Her fingers finally gave out. Lana screamed as she went tumbling backwards… right into the container of acid.

_Splash! _A burning, searing pain rushed through her body. She struggled, trying to get to the surface, to get away from the agony.

She broke the surface.

"Clark, Clark! Help me, save me!" screamed Lana (How many times has she done that now? Like, every episode? The only one where she had any guts was 'Precipice'.). But Clark wasn't there. He was in his loft, making out with Chloe (Yes- he has finally given up on Lana and her manipulative ways!).

In Clark's loft:

"What was that?" said Clark, removing his head from Chloe's cleavage. Chloe wasn't very happy about this.

"What was what?" she sighed.

"Sounded like a scream or something. Oh well, probably nothing," replied Clark, promptly burying his face back between Chloe's breasts.

Back at the Acid Factory:

The acid was eating away at Lana's skin. Fizzling, melting, searing pain. Two minutes later, she was dead.

The Science Group came back onto the platform. Pete looked about for Lana. He looked down… and saw her remains (not much left) and a strawberry pink shoe. Bob the Boring peered over the rail to see what Pete was staring at.

"Well, that's never happened before," he said.


End file.
